Wednesday, September 28, 2011 12:10 am

Parachute

listen, ♥
Forever And Always - Parachute

She sitting at the table
The hours get later
He was supposed to be here
She's sure he would have called
She waits a little longer
There's no one in the driveway
No one's said they've seen him
Why is something wrong?
She looks back to the window and suddenly the phone rings
A voice says something happened and she should come right now
Her mind goes to December
She thinks of when he asked her
He bent down on his knee first and he said

I want you forever
Forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together
Forever and always

She pulls up to the entrance
She walks right to the front desk
They lead her down a million halls, a maze that's never ending
They talk about what happened, but she can barely hear them
She tries to keep a straight face as she walks into the room
She sits by his bedside, holds his hand too tight
They talk about the kids they're gonna have and the good life
The house on the hillside where they would stay

Stay there forever
Forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together
But always remember
Wether rich or for poor or for better
We still love each other
Forever and always

Then she gets an idea and calls in the nurses
Brings up the chaplets
And he says a couple verses
She borrows some rings from the couple next door
Everybody's laughing as the tears fall on the floor
She looks into his eyes and she says

I want you forever
Forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together
But always remember
Wether happy or sad or whatever
We still love each other
Forever and always

Forever and always
Forever and always

She finishes the vows, but the beeps are getting to slow
His voice is almost too low
As he says

I love you forever
Forever and always
Please just remember even if I'm not there
I'll always love you forever and always

To Bestf, with love. <3

Monday, September 26, 2011 10:36 pm

Loser

listen, ♥I think I'm the biggest idiot who's constantly trying to sustain relationships. /loud sigh

2:51 am

Whataboutnow

listen, ♥What About Now
Chris Daughtry

Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the scars
And make it to the dawn?

Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.
What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love, it never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

Now that we're here,
Now that we've come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,

Saturday, September 24, 2011 8:24 pm

Blackberry

listen, ♥Got myself a new phone. ^^

Yes, it's still Blackberry. Not the one I'm dying for, but better than nothing.

BB Pin: 2732142F

And this is me, being thick skin. :P

1:13 am

Friends

listen, ♥Rebel, Zirca, Zouk.

Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing with my life when the rest of the world are enjoying and doing things that they like. Why can't I be like any of them? /sigh

I don't wanna be known as the 'lousy' one to this group of friends, the 'smarty pants' to the next, the 'nerd' or the 'bookworm'.

I've had enough of these labels and I don't need to like in such misery. I might be studying when you guys ask me out, but it's not because I enjoy the damn process of cramping and mugging when I have the liberty to go out but instead, that is what is demanded of me.

You might think that I'm just finding excuses to not hang out and to make all of you feel 'stupid' because you guys have all the time in the world. But I honestly am not. What do I gain, from thinking of you guys as such? Nothing but more heartache because I know for a fact, the you guys no longer understand me the way you did back then.

I'm not pointing fingers at anyone. I'm just upset that you people think of me this way. I really can't please the whole world even if I try my utmost best to and it would really be nice if you guys don't take me for granted.

I have the capacity to leave as and when I want to, and for good. Don't put me on that situation because I don't wanna play favorites or choose between one another.

I'm really sick of these crap. If you insist and choose to believe that I'm making excuses to not meet you, then we'll leave it at that. I'm not gonna try to even justify myself for fear that I might just give up on you and what you're gonna say. My conscience is clear and if you have a problem, we'll deal with it after my A levels. For now, buzz off!

Friday, September 23, 2011 10:57 pm

#

listen, ♥I don't get why people put hashtags for EVERY DAMN THING! Like seriously?! -.- Do you have nothing better to do? /roll eyes

Don't know why I'm being such a bitch but I think I've had enough of hashtags here and there.

My phone's pissing me off so bad cause it's lagging and hanging, I need to get it replaced, SOON! I'm so irritated at how it lags when I'm trying to load something. Hopefully Jeremy's home after his shift, after he wakes up from slumber too. I guess he'll be going out. /sigh

Grrrrr, can't even freaking type fat cause it'll hang and waste my time plus effort having to type it over again. Pissed beyond the skies!

Time is not on my side and I believe I'm having an allergic reaction. Having major difficulty breathing, I feel as though I'm gonna die.

Need to freaking study!

2:42 am

Poem

listen, ♥Feel something

Have you ever held in pain to the point where it seemed like you didn't care?
you could've sworn you were crying,
but when you went to wipe tears away there was nothing there?
Going through life empty.
Just letting the world pass you by.
Numb to any feelings,
just wishing you could die.
See I feel like this daily.
so lost I don’t know what to feel.
When in fact I do feel pain, I cant believe that it’s real.
so as I lay my head down tonight,
I close my eyes and pray.
I pray that God will give me guidance & to maybe feel someday.

- Joyce Alcantara ©

1:51 am

Untitled

listen, ♥Completed Hotel Dash in 2 days. I must be crazy. With the highest score for each level, I conquered 40 levels with difficulties here and there. I did it!

I wish I could adopt this in my life, when it comes to studying. Determination, focus, resilience, strength and motivation so as to succeed. Easier said than done. No doubt, action proves louder than words and I've got to act on what I set out to do now before its too late. If not for myself, then for the people whom I love and want the best for me.

I will survive, I will strive. I can do it! Even if I screw my Prelims real bad, I will work hard towards my goal - A levels.

47 days to the mighty A's! Fighting!

Need to start saving so that I can go on a shopping spree in Thailand. Really don't know how my money flies away time after time when I don't go out or use it often. /: Maybe there's a big hole in my wallet that I've never realized. /:

Bed time now, need to get 7 essays done by tomorrow and work on some research for tuition. /yawn I can do this, fighting!

Less than a week and I'll be alone for a week. /:

Thursday, September 22, 2011 1:50 am

Conversation

listen, ♥Nanny's soooooooo cute! :P


Nanny: Will you be home tomorrow?

Me: Yes, I have tuition in the evening though. Why?

Nanny: Alamak, must boil water.

Me: LOL!


Implied meaning: I'm water barrel.

1:19 am

Fareen

listen, ♥Before you judge, I'm not lesbian.

Today was beyond amazing and no words can actually comprehend how happy I am. Thank you Baby! <3 ^^

Movie (Johnny English), Sakae Sushi, Singapore Flyer.

Perfect date, time well spent with the one I love. ^^

The movie was awesome, the food satisfying, Frolick was yummy-licious. What more can I ask for when I saw the Muttons, Divian (melts) and Jacqui?! :D To end it off, we enjoyed the view in our very own capsule on the Flyers.

What more can I ask for? :D Perfect date, perfect company, everything fell into place and I'm thankful. :D

-

And I wonder what life would be, without you.

It's amazing how we're so different in many ways but still have that very connection that brings us together.

Our slow yet undying and steady relationship, was not built over night but through the weathering of both storm and rain, before I would ever affirm myself, that you're the best thing that's ever been mine.

Thank you for being a part of my life, I think I would have died without you. Thank you for never giving up on me all these years, and for enduring my whiny nature and mood swings. Thank you for always standing by me throughout the 7 years, I'm so blessed and thankful to always have you.

I love you! <3

Monday, September 19, 2011 11:40 pm

Distracted

listen, ♥Trying to cramp as much as I can into this pea brain of mine and it's been going on fine until I lost concentration because I forgot if it's suppose to be x-efficiency or x-inefficiency. Super angsty for no apparent reason, I can bitch slap myself.

Can't wait for the papers to end tomorrow so I can sleep the whole day and then work on my tuition homework. 5 AQ and 1 summary is no joke at all. Le sigh~

Need to get back to my books soon. But now, a deserved break for concentrating earlier!

I will survive! I can do this! FIGHTING!

I love you forever, forever and always. Through the good and the bad and the ugly~

I love you like a love song Baby~

Songs that are stuck in my head. /faint They better not distract me when I do my papers tomorrow. If not, it's gg.com/forever

Okayyyyy, time for a mini break.

8:54 pm

Stress

listen, ♥I have all the symptoms of being stressed described by the DJs on 98.7FM. /faints

It's damn weird like how I hear about my knee condition on the TV. /faints

Literature Paper 5 and Economics Paper 2 tomorrow. My last shot at redemption and the deciding factor to what I wanna achieve. /praying hard

I'm so tired from the lack of sleep, my eyes swelled this morning. It started last night actually, but got worse today.

I'm trying cramp all that I can into my head for Economics but it's like not here and there. Need to find alternative ways of memorizing. Writing is not only killing my hand but also the poor trees. /laughs

I finished my expensive pens in less than a week. /: $5 gone just like that! /heart pain

Okay, need to hit the books again and then nap before waking up to continue studying. I can do this, just less than 24 hours!

/yawns So tired but I need to persevere. I can do this!! Fighting!

Saturday, September 17, 2011 11:31 am

Jetlag

listen, ♥Lyrics to Jet Lag :
(feat. Natasha Bedingfield)

Ohhhhh ohhhhh
(Go jet lag)

What time is it where you are?
I miss you more than anything
Back at home you feel so far
Waitin' for the phone to ring
It's gettin lonely livin upside down
I don't even wanna be in this town
Tryin' to figure out the time zones makin' me crazy

You say good morning
When it's midnight
Going out of my head
Alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
And it's drivin' me mad
I miss you so bad
And my heart heart heart is so jetlagged
Heart heart heart is so jetlagged
Heart heart heart is so jetlagged, so jetlagged

What time is it where you are?
5 more days and I'll be home
I keep your picture in my car
I hate the thought of you alone
I've been keeping busy all the time
Just to try to keep you off my mind
Tryin' to figure out the time zones makin' me crazy

You say good morning
When it's midnight
Going out of my head
Alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
And it's drivin' me mad
I miss you so bad
And my heart heart heart is so jetlagged
Heart heart heart is so jetlagged
Heart heart heart is so jetlagged, so jetlagged
(ohhh ohhh)

(I miss you so bad) I miss you so bad
(I miss you so bad) I miss you so bad
(I miss you so bad) I wanna share your horizont
(I miss you so bad) And see the same sunrising
(I miss you so bad) And turn the hour hand back to when you were holding me

You say good morning
When it's midnight
Going out of my head
Alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
It's drivin' me mad
I miss when you say good morning
When it's midnight
Going out of my head
Alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
It's drivin' me mad
I miss you so bad
And my heart heart heart is so jetlagged
Heart heart heart is so jetlagged
Heart heart heart is so jetlagged, so jetlagged
(Ohhh) So jetlagged

To Bestf, with love! <3

12:27 am

Quote

listen, ♥"Never let another person's negativity cloud your own sunshine."

Thursday, September 15, 2011 10:10 pm

Remember

listen, ♥"He makes all things beautiful, in his time."

Lord please show me everyday, as you're teaching me your way. As you do just what you say, in his time.

4:00 pm

Sick

listen, ♥Spent the day sleeping cause the throbbing headache that intensified.

Apparently my 5 minutes of memorizing before I knocked off worked cause I still remember it by hard.

Gonna continue memorizing for tuition. And then back home to mug. Need my other papers to save me from condemnation.

Puffy eyes and fat face cause I just woke up. I look like a swollen nutcase. /exaggeration

Okay, time to get things done!

Wondering if I should get some bubble tea before or after tuition but it's so unhealthy.

Maybe I'll stick to having Mr Bean. /calls Mummy

1:10 pm

Random

listen, ♥You're the best thing that's ever been mine.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011 11:54 pm

Annoyed

listen, ♥You get your hopes high up and then crash it.

"Life's a joke, don't take it too seriously."

That's the best thing you could say after I feel as though I've screwed my papers.

If you think it's funny, or that's your way of encouraging me, forget it! I'll rather you not say anything.

Praying for the best! /cross fingers

Tuesday, September 13, 2011 9:26 pm

Sorry

listen, ♥You're quite smart to come back at strategic times but I'm sorry. It's not gonna work.

I gave you a chance, presented you with clueless opportunities, but you didn't treasure it then.

Note to self: DO NOT GIVE IN, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!

Time to study again, Economics and History. /faints

P/s: you don't even have rights to demand anything from me so shut the hell up and buzz off. Stop being a damn pest cause it's annoying the living daylights out of me. I'm not concerned about your life, so why should you try to meddle in mine when you know you're insignificant? /roll eyes

7:50 pm

):

listen, ♥I need a hug, badly! ):

I need someone to tell me a joke so that I'll laugh like some mad person and forget what I'm going through now.

I miss you Bestf, really do.

12:18 am

Stress

listen, ♥Every time I try to piece what I wanna say together, I find myself stuck at many points, thinking how I should get my point across.

I'm trying to be there like before, but I can't. I'm trying to love you more with each new day, but it has proven too difficult. I'm trying to give myself that very chance, but I'm not prepared to face the truth. I'm trying, I really am, but will it matter?

Every time I type a thousand and one words, I find myself backspacing everything. I find myself cringing from the realities of life, I really don't know what's real and what's an illusion.

I have a paper to sit for in 8 hours, but here I am, thinking of how I'm gonna get by. Am I gonna do alright. Are the lessons that I've attended and the consultations that I've gone for, have they prepared me to face this hurdle in my life. What about the mighty A's then?

I know how hard I've tried, but the results are not there for me to be decided upon. I wonder how much effort goes into perfection. If it's really the 1,000 hours that matters, I would make every second count.

Luck, wonders, gifts. There's more to life than these.

I hate exam periods cause stress causes me to be negative and that's really the last thing that I need right now. I need to get home as soon as the paper ends and brace myself for a whole day of mugging because Economics and History are on the same day.

My school has such great and strategic planning, I really don't know what to say. In any case, I'm praying for the best. I'm praying that I'll be able to get by somehow. I'm praying for tranquility and a peace of mind.

Now, I need to mug a little more with an empty stomach that's growling non-stop and then hit the sack. Maybe I should hit the sack before waking up early to absorb more. I don't know, I'm decide in 2 minutes.

Goodnight. Please pray for me.

Sunday, September 11, 2011 12:52 am

Wowwwwwww

listen, ♥The blogger app is AMAZING! :D

Friday, September 09, 2011 1:18 am

Bestf

listen, ♥Happy 21st Bestf! :D ♥

I love you soooooooooooo much! ♥

I miss you, come home soon! ♥

/big huggggggg and many kisses ♥

Wednesday, September 07, 2011 7:05 pm

Erased

listen, ♥/delete

Monday, September 05, 2011 12:20 am

Lazy

listen, ♥Less than 100 pages to Wuthering Heights but it seems as though I'm going through hell, reading the novel all over again.

Done nothing productive AT ALL! I wonder what I'm thinking about sometimes. It's like, I don't even understand myself and why I put myself in stupid, retarded an regrettable situations when I can safely save my ass beforehand.

And the question I put to myself: What's your worth? What do you want to achieve in life? Are you gonna get there with all that you've done?

I doubt so.

Saturday, September 03, 2011 1:08 am

unproductive

listen, ♥Completely unproductive day. /sigh

I wish I had more to life than the books.

So much time wasted that cannot be retrieved. ):

Need to get back on my feet once again.

Positivity! I will survive!

Hwaiting!

Thursday, September 01, 2011 10:51 pm

teachers

listen, ♥I haven't felt this happy in a long long time. I love the time well spent at Tanglin, catching up with Daddy Tham and hanging out with Jenn cause we're the only ones who were free to head back to Tanglin and I wouldn't wanna give it a miss like I did last year, thanks to exams and Project Work, which was a total whore to deal with.

I'm glad and heartened that the people who were once there for me, can still relate to me and understand what I'm trying to bring across. I miss being in Tanglin, I miss all the fun and such. I don't mind waking up early to head to school and such, I really don't.

I wish I could turn back time. To the time where I had the most fun, the time of my life, without having to worry or bother about this and that cause I'll always have someone to count on no matter what happens.

I miss every bit of Tanglin, every memory is deeply engraved within my heart and I'll continue to strive and do better, for those who has never once thought of giving up on me despite the downfall that I have to go through.

Thank you for always being there to pick me up when I fall, and never leaving me there to bleed myself dry.

& these are things you'll never experience where you're at now.

Happy Teacher's Day Mr Tham! :D You're the BEST teacher, EVER!
Happy Teacher's Day Mrs Adina Ong! :D You're the one that never gave up on me despite the complains you've made against me, time after time.
Happy Teacher's Day Mrs Khan! :D You're the BEST tutor ever!

I do appreciate my teachers in many ways but there are some who should drop dead and die this very second. Such people shall NOT be mentioned.

God grant me patience, Amen.

Can't wait for A levels to end!